Today my dearies I have attained enlightenment. I am blissfully one with the world. The reason for my current state is a cooking show I saw in the morning. They made oats with orange, it’s zest, raw cocoa beans, honey, chocolate bark and some more goodies; yum, yum , yum…( salivating)
“I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.”
-The folks over at goodreads say this was by Albert Einstein. I’ll confirm this with him later. My Ouija board is a bit dusty.
Yes; this is a story not an essay.
Ever since the day the miracle of opposable thumbs was bestowed upon our hairy hominid predecessor, they found full use of the grip thus developed to hurl stones at competing mates. Later as humanity entered its infancy, tools and arrow heads were chiseled out of those stones and again hurled at enemy tribes.
You know the rest; swords and rifles, press a button and boom goes the missile; just war, war, war. We have always loved guts and blood.
Nuclear weapons were in vogue in the recent past. The concept was basically to hoard as many nukes as possible and when the time is right just detonate them on the same planet both the fighting parties live on. To emphasise the point, I have made an awesome sketch below (took me hours.)
But realizing and accepting the idiocy of our methods took great courage. This is the future. We have ditched those obsolete technologies and found a better way to fight, with full use of thumbs of course.
‘Welcome to World War III,’ the handsome young guy with mike announced.
“Oh, just give me my mike back,” the host shouted snatching it and kicking the guy off the stage.
“Welcome to World War III. Respected Presidents please follow your guides and proceed to the Combat Room and no don’t; President Mambi please, no more eye poking.”
The herd of black and white penguin suited presidents with their bodyguards followed the pretty girls beaconing them forward to enter the aforementioned Combat Room where another announcer greeted them.
“Welcome angry world leaders. For the past few months you have all wanted to rip each other’s throats apart. But the great thinker Confabler pointed out the errors in your ways and proposed a method to resolve conflicts with no violence. Generations to come will remember this historical moment and thank her for it. No more unnecessary deaths. Let the population grow happily in peace until we exhaust our resources and migrate to Mars. Everyone please be seated.”
All the Madam and Mr. Presidents then planted their butt cheeks on the soft plushy cushions of the couches in their respective flag’s colors.
“This is a Real Time Strategy video gaming war. The rules are:
1. You have all been given six months time with beginners’ instructions to develop your army and base.
2. Fight each other’s armies online and conquer their base.
3. A country is victorious only if the fluorescent green victory flag is hosted on the enemy’s headquarters.
4. The result announced by the mediator is final and non-negotiable. Don’t try to kill him if the outcome is not in your favor.
5. A peace treaty will be signed for the next hundred years between the conflicting nations after the results.
6. You may form alliances with each other in the game and multiple parties of winning alliances may win.
7. Only the presidents themselves will compete against each other; representing their countries. Opponents will be chosen on the basis of which countries they hate the most.
8. Bodyguards or anyone else will not help the presidents in any manner.
9. Chips and coke are provided to each and every nation in equal amount and of the same quality. Don’t fight over them. We have a bunker full of them.
10. Check your bladders. No bathroom breaks once the games start.
11. You may fight with as many nations as you wish. Go crazy.
12. Last thing: the game can’t be hacked. Please tell your hackers to stop trying to break into our system otherwise you will lose by default.
If you have any doubts or trouble please contact our seventeen year old technical advisers.
May the Gods bless your thumbs.
Welcome to the future. Welcome to World War III 2017.”
Day 3 of 3 day quotes challenge as nominated by fauxcroft. Thank you for the nomination and don’t forget to visit his/her place if you haven’t already.
Mr. Einstein left a lot of room for imagination.
If you like my idea, then please raise your voice so that we may fight our wars without real bloodshed. This will promote the development of artificial intelligence to improve our gaming experience. The machines will one day take over and start killing humans. Then we will move to Mars.
Pic credits: pixabay