The day before I was out on my weekly expedition, exploring the Sahara desert (see O’ Shine! I have been there.)
Well, I can’t really call it exploring. I was on a secret mission for the local vampire community. They were in acute need of unicorn poop (come closer, let me tell you a beauty secret: they use it as a face mask to keep their skin crispy clean and fresh. Contact me if you need some.)
Now, I know even daredevils like me die in the great desert, so I took precautions. I finally bought a tube of sunscreen, a pair of kickass round silver sunglasses and I brought along M (he is the one behind the blog mcos). Just in case I did get buried under the sand or become a wrinkled prune due to dehydration or a handsome ancient Egyptian discovered a time machine and were so smitten by my beauty that they decided to preserve it forever by making me a mummy, then he could fight them and bring back my body for a proper funeral. Plus he had expressed interest in finding unicorn poop when we first met. So I let him tag along.
Out on the mission, in the middle of nowhere, lying prone on the afternoon sand, roasting ourselves alive, we were scanning the area for any evidence of the black one horned mythical creatures. “I’m thirsty. Could you pass me the water bottle please?”, M asked.
You would think that I’m a fool, if I tell you that I forgot to bring one myslef. To be honest, I can live without water up to thirty-eight days, tried and tested. But M being not as awesome as me, needed water. Shocking, right?
I reached out for his pack lying by my side and fished out the bottle. About to pass it to him absentmindedly, a tiny glint caught my eye. I looked around thinking I had found a unicorn but there was the same barren landscape that blinked back at me.
M looked at the bottle and gasped. Each and every inch of the water within was embedded with twinkling bubbles. I have proof see…
But that was not all. Curious, we looked closer. Focused at just the right point the bubbles turned out to actually be millions of water nymphs.
I know you guys, like M don’t have my centuries worth of experience. So believe me when I tell you that they are very, very very rare beings, found in water bottles since the beginning of civilization. They dwell only in deserts when the bearer of the bottle has no other water supply.
The nymphs started dancing and celebrating when they saw me. They were old friends, you see. We had first met a long time back when they used to live in wine bottles. Recently they had decided to quit alcohol.
“Shh! Keep it quiet guys,” I said. “You will scare away the unicorns.”
Through a scintillating musical number they told me that they would not, because the unicorns were having a party over at the northern oasis.
But M, being the scientific mind that he is, couldn’t believe that I was talking with mythical water nymphs. He took the bottle and tilted it this way and that. Against the sunlight…
Stuffed it in his bag and examined them under torchlight…
“Look at the sparking droplets on the top.” He said, pointing towards the neck of the bottle. “I have never seen condensed water glitter in so many colors.”
“Yes, that is just your torchlight reflecting off the water beads. Not everything is magic. Now come on lets go. The unicorns are in the north.”
To cut the story short, after three nights worth of travelling, surviving on scorpion meat, a century worth of gossip with my friends – the nymphs – and arguing endlessly with M over the color of unicorn poop, we finally reached the northern oasis where the party was still in full swing.
It was not very difficult to ask a drunken unicorn to defecate in a bucket. I was right by the way, unicorn poop is rainbow colored, not dark as M had suggested.
Picking up our bucket we were almost through the desert when a giant troll suddenly materialized before us. He glared at me, then at my precious bucket and was about to attack.
Survival instincts soon kicked in and I pushed M in front me and ran away as fast as I could.
He called yesterday to tell that he was still fighting and it will probably take a few days for him to like this post. Don’t blame me, he had volunteered to go along.
One more important thing: I would like to thank PoojaG for nominating me for The Sunshine Blog Award. Thank you so much.